Inner Strength

February 12, 2010

I’ve got somewhere to go and I know I figured it out but I’m trying to go and I can’t I keep interrupting my flow, my skill level is too low I’ve got to grow, so I take a step back and listen learn, practice, I’ve got to get this right I’ve got everything at stake and I know I can make something worthwhile of this life, I can make a difference, I know I can adjust the flow, the life-stream through the universe, the future, it’s there in front of me and I don’t want to be idle, I don’t want to let myself go by just a nothing no one never knew me, it’s not about me it’s about what I see, and I see positively the positivity of humanity and what we can be, our excellence. So I say but I really must display the results of my foray headlong into everything, I’ve been reckless and made a mess of things but I never had reservations to go all the way and disregard the advice of anyone who tried to tell me I was wrong, and maybe some of them knew better all along, tried to protect me, or tried to correct me, but no matter how many times I’ve fallen, been defeated, or gave up on life, they’d always resurrect me, or maybe I did it to myself a few times, I just didn’t see how long it would be and I didn’t prepare myself for the journey, now I’m older a bit wiser I feel like I focused on the wrong situations the wrong areas my arrogance kind of blinded me, but maybe I was just a child of the times and riding on the wagon of the spirit of the age in American in the 1990’s, while everyone was telling me we were the best and I was such a smart kid, I felt like that was probably good enough and most people were beneath me, I still have my doubts but it was beneficial in a way as it gave me the confidence to converse with anyone and defend myself, I just had to tune up the finesse, so I never really regressed I guess I just slowed down and ruminated a few times, cognitively, and now I know there’s only one way to go and that’s forward, onward, toward the noble vision that drives me to be every bit as powerful, fulfilled, and self-actualized I can be, but now I fully embrace how that means I embrace everyone as me, and my self-actualization is world-actualization, life-actualization and what drives me is that I can drive the future of humanity. I can do this. My skills are getting to the level where I can taken the greatest challenges of human problems and they’ll put me in the zone, where I flow, unbiased, and shred away the falsity of what flaws we’ve fallen for and exalt what perfects us and our societies.